What will our future look like with self-driving cars? Will they eliminate personal car ownership?

 

Will we be caused to travel by Uber-like ride hailing services? Will an autonomous vehicle tell us what to do? Therefore . . .  

 

 

If You Listen To It, Do It Carfully

A Narrative Poem

 

I sat in the Nissan dealership waiting for my car to be serviced. I became bored and restless, so I perused the showroom area and saw a Nissan Kicks, a car I hadn’t seen before. I ambled over to it and grabbed the door handle on the driver’s side. Hey, don’t touch me, a low, harsh voice commanded.

 

I spun around to see who’d said that to me, but nobody was there. I decided to continue exploring the vehicle. Walking toward the rear of this small SUV, I reached down and began to open the hatch when I heard . . . How would you like it if I touched your butt, mister?       

 

Startled, I looked behind me, but didn’t see anybody. I focused my attention back on the car. I decided to check under the hood. As I opened it, I was taken aback by . . . What gives you the right to poke around in my mouth? Are you an oral surgeon? Why aren’t you wearing gloves? Are your hands sterile?

 

Not believing any of this was real, and feeling the presence of someone lurking behind me, I turned around to look. What I saw was a little guy, no more than five-feet tall, standing there, staring at me. “Nice game you’re playing. Throwing your voice into that SUV, so I’d think it was speaking to me,” I said.

 

“What’re you talkin’ about? I didn’t throw nothin’ into nothin’,” he replied.

 

Bewildered, I stood motionless. Then bellowing laughter erupted behind me. Shocked, I pivoted to assess the situation. It was coming from the open hood of the Kicks. Confused and frightened, I headed toward the door. Maybe I’d better get out of here. Wait outside for my car to be finished. 

 

As I made my way to the exit, someone called out to me, “Hey, fella, I think you dropped something.” I turned back to look and just stood there with my mouth wide open.

 

A sign I hadn’t seen before, in large, bold letters, read, “THIS CAR OF THE FUTURE WILL DRIVE YOU CRAZY, IF YOU LISTEN TO IT.”

 

 

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