When you perform on life’s stage, what would
you like your audience to see?
Do you want to hide your inner self? This
may be the case in . . .
A Secret I’ve Kept To Myself
“Good
evening, ladies and gentlemen. Please take your seats, so we can begin tonight’s
program.”
The
little theater, decorated with golden light fixtures and black and gold
carpeting, served as the centerpiece of the gated community of Ocean Crest, a
comfortable setting for about one hundred and fifty people. Looking out into
the audience, I could see only three or four empty seats.
“Nice
crowd,” I mumbled to myself, as I prepared to address the audience. “My name is
Dr. Adrian Fontaine. I’m a psychotherapist in our city of Ocean Beach. My
office is located about four miles from Ocean Crest. I received an invitation
about six months ago to make a presentation here this evening.
“I’m
familiar with Ocean Crest, as I’ve had the opportunity to attend functions held
in your community, but none of you or your fellow residents are or have been my
patients. My patients, although living in our city by the sea, tend to be a bit
different from the conservative mainstream. They are more artsy-craftsy types
of people—artisans who sell their wares at our weekly open markets, but are not
involved in other city activities.
“My
therapy sessions are different than what you might think. They are not the
run-of-the-mill talk sessions with which you might be familiar. My patients
have both a fear of expressing themselves in public and, at the same time, a
deep-seated desire to do so. In preparing for tonight’s forum, I wanted to
share with you how both these conflicting feelings can be addressed.
“One of
the techniques I employ to do this is called role-playing. Can anyone tell me
what role-playing is all about? Yes, the lady in the third row.”
“I think
it’s about acting.”
“Can you
be more specific?”
“Well, I
think two or more people become characters in a scene . . . like from a play.
They interact with each other in a make-believe world.”
“Yes,
that’s pretty much correct. To understand each other’s feelings, they may play
parts to express these emotions. Sometimes they become each other. At other
times, they play roles in which they infuse the characters they are playing
with their own personalities. In doing this, it may make it easier for them to
communicate their feelings.”
“May I
ask a question, Dr. Fontaine?” a woman in the fifth row called out.
“Please
do.”
“Isn’t it
like dressing up in a costume for a Halloween party? When you hide behind a
mask, you feel freer to say things you might not be able to say when you’re not
in costume.”
“That’s correct—a
very accurate analogy.” I scanned the group. Lots of people were shaking their
heads in agreement. It looked like they were with me, so I asked, “Would you
like to role-play this evening? Let me see by a show of hands.”
Hands
shot up throughout the audience. They seemed ecstatic over the idea. I’d
worried they wouldn’t want to do this. My only experiences with role-playing in
the past had been in the group and couples therapy sessions I conducted at my
office or in the classes I taught at the local community college. I’d never
tried it in an open setting, where I didn’t know any of the participants. This
was going to be interesting.
“Since
you’ve indicated you would like to try to role-play, let’s take a stab at it. I
need two volunteers.”
Many
people raised their hands. For some reason I couldn’t explain, I selected two
men, who appeared to be very different—one seated in the second row and the
other in the sixth. Both seemed to have come alone.
As the
men walked down the aisle to join me on stage, I spoke to the eager gathering
awaiting the performance. “I want to assure you I’m not acquainted with either
of these men and they know nothing about what they will be participating in
this evening.”
The men
climbed the stairs to the stage and stood next to me. I asked them to move to
the front and stand before one of two microphones, which had been set up for
the presentation. The audience quieted down and sat in silence, awaiting the
scenario I would paint in which the two volunteers would engage.
So I
began. “Gentlemen, I would like each of you to affirm to the audience that you
do not know the other participant.”
Both
blurted out in unison, “I don’t know him.”
“Now, I’d
like you to introduce yourself to the audience. Please state your name and
occupation, so it is clear you’re not professional actors or, heaven help us,
therapists. I motioned to the man on the right to begin.
“My name is Michael Diamond. I’m a ‘diamond in
the rough,’” he chuckled.
To his
dismay, the audience didn’t react to his attempt at making a joke. They just
sat and stared at him.
He
continued. “I guess it’s obvious I’m not a stand-up comic. I am, however, a
jeweler.”
At this,
the audience burst into laughter. It appeared they thought this had to be a
set-up—a guy named Diamond being a jeweler sounded like the perfect punch line.
However, he assured them he was a jeweler and this time he hadn’t tried to make
a joke.
The
audience settled down and the second man began to speak. “My name is David
Michael.”
This sent
grumbling through those gathered and a woman yelled out, “Yeah, this has to be
a trick—a sham. Michael Diamond and David Michael—both with Michael as one of
their names and with the same initials, but reversed. We’re being conned.”
Before I had
a chance to regain control of the group, David stammered, “This is my real name
and I have no idea who this other guy is . . . and I’m a hospital librarian.”
Sensing
his truthfulness, the audience relaxed, and I resumed. “Let me outline the
scenario for our role-play. The two characters in the play are Sam and Justin.
Michael, I’d like you to portray Sam. Sam is strait-laced, prim, and proper.
Although caring, he might be a bit snooty. You will open our role-play sketch.
Does this sound okay to you?”
“It
sounds great. I think I can have some fun with it.”
“David,
I’d like you to take on the role of Justin. Justin isn’t a mainstream type.
He’s a little different and travels down his own path. He has fears about being
accepted. This is all I’m going to tell you. The rest is up to you. Do you
think you can handle this?”
“Uh, yes,
I think so.”
“Okay, I’m
going to give the two of you ten minutes to discuss with each other where your encounter
will take place and how you might present your characters, as they interact
with one another. After your discussion, we will begin.”
Ten
minutes went fast. Then, Michael, as Sam, and David, as Justin, again stood at
their mics and Michael began.
“Justin,
you have to leave the closet sometime,” Sam stated.
Closet? I had no idea where this was
going. However, Justin had no trouble
responding.
“But Sam,
I’m really frightened. It’s safe in the closet. I don’t want to come out.”
“Justin,
you have to. There’s so much more to life. You can’t hang in here and let your
fears get the best of you.”
“But it’s
scary, Sam. I’m afraid of how people will act and what they will say when they
see me.”
“Oh,
you’re being silly. Don’t be such a wimp. They’ll love how you look and what
you are. You’ll see what I’m saying is true.”
“But I’m
different, Sam. I behave in a way that’s unique. I’m not like you or even
others of my kind.”
“Different
is good. Your wonderful qualities will shine. That’s what you’ll discover.”
“That’s
easy for you to say. Your straight-laced, pressed, and people get what they
expect. Me, I’m somewhat odd.”
“Justin,
you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. You’re intimate, warm, and quite
appealing when you cozy up to your man. Your actions will make him feel good
and protected from life’s cold ways. You’re very important in the Lord’s grand
plan.”
“That’s
nice to hear, Sam, but I’m still quite uncomfortable. I want to hang in here
and keep my distance from the world. Why can’t I be left alone?”
“Justin,
it’s not your call to make. When he comes for you, you have to suck it up and
go with him.”
“Gee,
Sam, you’re making me quite uptight. I’m scared of the strange outside world.
I’ve been in here a long time. I wouldn’t know how to handle myself out there.
Oh my, I hear a plodding, rumbling sound. I think someone’s coming down the
hall.”
“Don’t
worry, Justin, you needn’t fear. You know very well he’ll pick me first.”
“I know,
I know. You’re the fancy pinstriped suit that helps him dress to the nines. I’m
a thick, loosely woven wool tie. Some say I’m part scarf and can be wound
around the neck for warmth. Most of the time, I just hang there. But I’m also prone
to swing and sway back and forth. I really don’t know why. Oh my, he’s tugging
me off the rack. He bought me over a year ago, but has never worn me. I’d hoped
he’d forgotten about me.
“Okay!
Okay! I’m coming out of the closet. I’ll do what you want me to do. I have only
one thing to ask in return. Please, oh please, treat me with respect.”
Michael
and David bowed to the audience. In return, they received a hearty round of
applause. Some people were laughing, but others weren’t. They had stunned expressions
on their faces. I couldn’t help but think,
Was this a fictitious story about clothing, or . . . ‘A Secret I’ve Kept To
Myself’?
Copyright
© 2022 Alan Lowe. All rights reserved.
