From
the time I was born, music played a role in my life. Memories of my parents
singing me to sleep filled my mind.
As
I grew from a child to an adult, I listened to . . .
Songs That Shaped My Life
It was a
cool, wintry morning. I came bouncing down the staircase from my room on the
second floor of our beautiful three-bedroom home, on the South Shore of Long
Island. As I looked over the handrail into the living room, I screamed, “Hey!
Leave my guitar alone, you little wimp.”
“Your
guitar? When was the last time you picked that thing up. It’s been sitting here
collecting dust for months,” my eight-year-old my sister, Leah, screamed.
“But that’s
how I’m going to play, ‘I’m Back in the Saddle Again,’ Gene Autry’s song.”
“On a
horse?”
“Why not?”
“You’ve
never been on a horse.”
“Yes, I
was.”
“When?”
“Three
weeks ago at the mall.”
“That was
a fake horse.”
“But you
said it was a horse.”
“I’m only
eight. What do I know?”
“And I’m
only ten. So that’s the best horse around for me to ride.”
Well, I
never did play “I’m Back in the Saddle Again,” on the guitar, but I did ride my
first real horse at age fourteen. And when it jumped a fence with me on board,
I found myself holding on to its mane and staring into its soft, beautiful
eyes. I hoped I’d never be “back in the saddle again.”
In 1956, I
went to the movies with Leah. At twelve, I was becoming a man and falling in
love with the girl of my dreams—Doris Day. Listening to her sing, “Que Sera,
Sera, Whatever Will Be, Will Be,” made my heart melt. Leah stared at me and said,
“You look like you’re going to barf.”
“Huh,” I
replied. “What are you talking about?”
“Your
face is as red as a beet.”
To this
day, that song resonates within me, when things don’t turn out exactly the way
I want them to. But, I know a better future is coming. And Doris Day is still
my heart throb.
In 1962,
I graduated high school and went off to college in upstate New York. As a Psych
major, I knew I’d find everything out and become a success—especially in discovering
the girl to make my life complete. And my favorite song. “Chances Are,” by
Johnny Mathis, said it all, . . .
“Guess you feel you'll
always be
The one and only one for me
And if you think you could,
Well, chances are your chances are awfully good!”
The evening
was cold and windy. After the party, my date, Linda, and I rushed from the frat
house to my car. After helping her into the passenger seat, I went around the
car and got in. I sat in the driver’s seat shaking.
“Aren’t
we going?” Linda asked.
“As soon
as I warm up,” I replied, quivering.
“Well,
you have to turn the car and heat on, if you want that to happen. And by the way, Art asked me out and I said, ‘Yes.’”
“You what?
You’re going on a date with my fraternity brother?”
“You
heard me. Art and I flirted all evening. You were too busy snacking to notice. So
we’re done.”
And so it
became clear that for a continuing relationship with Linda, “Chances are my
chances aren’t awfully good.”
This
experience was mind boggling, but life goes on. To survive, sometimes I had to
pretend I was somebody I wasn’t and had the confidence to do the unexpected to
achieve my goals. The song that rattled around in my brain and kept me going
was “The Great Pretender,” by the Platters.
I made
things happen as a professional educational administrator in Northern California.
I had to be strong in the eyes of those who reported to me and make them
believe I could do it all on my own. And so I sung to myself,
“Oh
yes, I'm the great pretender
Adrift in a world of my own
I play the game but to my real shame
You've left me to dream all alone.”
The “you” was my
second wife, Jessica. She came to me one evening and said, “We’re through. I’m
leaving.”
I gulped, “Why?”
“I need to be on my own. But we can date.”
“Date? We’re married.”
And then we weren’t.
But as Tommy Edwards sung, “It’s All In the Game.”
“Many a tear has to fall
but it's all in the game
All in the wonderful game that we know as love.”
One
relationship ends and a new one begins. You search for that special person and
she emerges from an ad in the Personals Section of the newspaper. You call her phone
number and she answers, “Hello.”
The
warmth of her voice makes your heart beat out of control, and The Everly
Brothers song, “Let It Be Me,” flows through my mind,
“I bless the day I found you
I want to stay around you
And so I beg you, let it be me
Don't take this heaven from one
If you must cling to someone
Now and forever, let it be me.”
And it was. Now the only thing hampering
our wonderful marriage is aging, with aching bodies and fading minds. Frank
Sinatra’s words, in “As Time Goes By,” paint a picture of our future,
“You must remember this:
A kiss is still a kiss,
A sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by.
And when two lovers woo
They still say, "I love you."
On that you can rely,
No matter what the future brings.
As time goes by.”
The
songs that shaped my life left indelible imprints, as I traveled with them down
life’s roads. I go to sleep with them and awake each morning to unforgettable
music and lyrics.
Copyright
© 2025 Alan Lowe. All rights reserved.
