From the time I was born, music played a role in my life. Memories of my parents singing me to sleep filled my mind.

 

As I grew from a child to an adult, I listened to . . .

 

  

Songs That Shaped My Life 

     It was a cool, wintry morning. I came bouncing down the staircase from my room on the second floor of our beautiful three-bedroom home, on the South Shore of Long Island. As I looked over the handrail into the living room, I screamed, “Hey! Leave my guitar alone, you little wimp.”

     “Your guitar? When was the last time you picked that thing up. It’s been sitting here collecting dust for months,” my eight-year-old my sister, Leah, screamed.

     “But that’s how I’m going to play, ‘I’m Back in the Saddle Again,’ Gene Autry’s song.”

     “On a horse?”

     “Why not?”

     “You’ve never been on a horse.”

     “Yes, I was.”

     “When?”

     “Three weeks ago at the mall.”

     “That was a fake horse.”

     “But you said it was a horse.”

     “I’m only eight. What do I know?”

     “And I’m only ten. So that’s the best horse around for me to ride.”

     Well, I never did play “I’m Back in the Saddle Again,” on the guitar, but I did ride my first real horse at age fourteen. And when it jumped a fence with me on board, I found myself holding on to its mane and staring into its soft, beautiful eyes. I hoped I’d never be “back in the saddle again.”

     In 1956, I went to the movies with Leah. At twelve, I was becoming a man and falling in love with the girl of my dreams—Doris Day. Listening to her sing, “Que Sera, Sera, Whatever Will Be, Will Be,” made my heart melt. Leah stared at me and said, “You look like you’re going to barf.”

     “Huh,” I replied. “What are you talking about?”

     “Your face is as red as a beet.”

     To this day, that song resonates within me, when things don’t turn out exactly the way I want them to. But, I know a better future is coming. And Doris Day is still my heart throb.

     In 1962, I graduated high school and went off to college in upstate New York. As a Psych major, I knew I’d find everything out and become a success—especially in discovering the girl to make my life complete. And my favorite song. “Chances Are,” by Johnny Mathis, said it all, . . .

“Guess you feel you'll always be
The one and only one for me
And if you think you could,
Well, chances are your chances are awfully good!”

 

     The evening was cold and windy. After the party, my date, Linda, and I rushed from the frat house to my car. After helping her into the passenger seat, I went around the car and got in. I sat in the driver’s seat shaking.

     “Aren’t we going?” Linda asked.

     “As soon as I warm up,” I replied, quivering.

     “Well, you have to turn the car and heat on, if you want that to happen.  And by the way, Art asked me out and I said, ‘Yes.’”

     “You what? You’re going on a date with my fraternity brother?”

     “You heard me. Art and I flirted all evening. You were too busy snacking to notice. So we’re done.”

     And so it became clear that for a continuing relationship with Linda, “Chances are my chances aren’t awfully good.”

     This experience was mind boggling, but life goes on. To survive, sometimes I had to pretend I was somebody I wasn’t and had the confidence to do the unexpected to achieve my goals. The song that rattled around in my brain and kept me going was “The Great Pretender,” by the Platters.

     I made things happen as a professional educational administrator in Northern California. I had to be strong in the eyes of those who reported to me and make them believe I could do it all on my own. And so I sung to myself,

 

“Oh yes, I'm the great pretender
Adrift in a world of my own
I play the game but to my real shame
You've left me to dream all alone.”

 

          The “you” was my second wife, Jessica. She came to me one evening and said, “We’re through. I’m leaving.”

     I gulped, “Why?”

     “I need to be on my own. But we can date.”

     “Date? We’re married.”

     And then we weren’t.

     But as Tommy Edwards sung, “It’s All In the Game.”

 

“Many a tear has to fall but it's all in the game
All in the wonderful game that we know as love.”

 

     One relationship ends and a new one begins. You search for that special person and she emerges from an ad in the Personals Section of the newspaper. You call her phone number and she answers, “Hello.”

     The warmth of her voice makes your heart beat out of control, and The Everly Brothers song, “Let It Be Me,” flows through my mind,

 

“I bless the day I found you
I want to stay around you
And so I beg you, let it be me
Don't take this heaven from one
If you must cling to someone
Now and forever, let it be me.”

 

     And it was. Now the only thing hampering our wonderful marriage is aging, with aching bodies and fading minds. Frank Sinatra’s words, in “As Time Goes By,” paint a picture of our future,

 

“You must remember this:
A kiss is still a kiss,
A sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by.

And when two lovers woo
They still say, "I love you."
On that you can rely,
No matter what the future brings.
As time goes by.”

 

         The songs that shaped my life left indelible imprints, as I traveled with them down life’s roads. I go to sleep with them and awake each morning to unforgettable music and lyrics.

 

 

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