The burdens of building a life together are many. Sometimes trying to confront them can be overwhelming.

 

The distance between you and your loved one can widen. So much so, you dread what might have to be done as you pass from day . . .

 

 

Into The Blackness Of Night

 

Until tonight,

I had no idea

what was happening.

Nothing

made any sense.

I followed

a path

that confused me.

Memories

of our time together

flooded my mind.

Pictures

of our world,

now in disarray,

haunted me.

 

This was our life,

yours and mine—

first blessed,

now cursed.

Why did I think

I didn’t matter

anymore?

Did I ask

too much of you?

 

You agreed

to meet me

at the gorgeous

Brockhurst Inn

on the coast,

for what I hoped

would be

a romantic evening.

The ocean’s waters,

crashing against the rocks,

could be heard

through the open window

of our eighth floor

hotel room.

 

But why

was it open?

Frost

covered the glass.

Shivering,

I embraced you,

but you

pushed me away.

 

Anger

welled up within me,

for the disrespect

you showed.

I thought,

This must be

what people mean

when they say,

“I could die now.”

 

We’re so much closer

to death

than you

might think.

But whose?

Not mine.

 

I stood

facing

the open window,

quivering

from the damp air?

I had to do it.

It wasn’t my choice.

The pain

in my gut

caused me

to flinch,

and the ache

in my heart

told me

it was my right

to set this straight.

 

You deceived me,

led me astray.  

I tried

to stay afloat

In the bitter waters

of our relationship.

I still wanted you

and wanted us,

but knew

it couldn’t happen.

 

The scent

of your hair

triggered the passion

in my heart.

However, knowing

I would never again

feel your kisses

on my lips,

I wrapped

my fingers

around your throat,

and pushed you

through the open window

into the blackness

of night

and the sea below.

 

Well, that’s what

I intended to do,

but I didn’t.

Without saying a word,

you left the room.

I crawled into bed,

pulled the pillow

over my head,

and begged God

for forgiveness

for the sin

I almost committed.

 

 

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