Can counseling help you to have a better life? And what if it’s in a group with strangers?

 

Many people don’t know what to expect from a counseling session. To get an answer, you may want to participate in . . .

 

 

Counseling Session 101

 

     “Good evening. Welcome to Counseling Session 101. My name is Dr. Thera P. For this evening’s group session and the nine that follow, we will go by our first name and first initial of our last name only, in order to maintain anonymity and a level of comfort. It is time to get to know one another, discuss our symptoms and history, and set goals for the counseling process. We are sitting in a circle so that we all are visible to one another. Let’s begin tonight’s meeting by introducing ourselves. We’ll start with the young woman to my right.”

     “Uh, this is making me feel somewhat uncomfortable, Dr. Thera P. I don’t know if I can do this.”

     “Please, take a deep breath.”

     “Okay.”

     “Now let it out slowly. Are you starting to feel better?”

     “Yes, I think so.”

     “All right then. What is your name.”

     “Uh, my name is Chara T.”

     “Well Chara T., tell us something about yourself.”

     “I’m a very giving person. I want to help people who don’t have the means to help themselves. I clean out my closets twice a month and donate clothing and household goods to our local mission for the homeless. Do you want more?”

     “No. You’ve done an excellent job. Let’s go on to the person to your right.”

     The room became silent. A number of the group members began squirming in their seats.

     “Sir, did you hear me?”

     “Yes, I did.”

     “Then what are you waiting for?”

     “I’m not here because I want to be. I’m Curtis C. and I’m doing this because my wife insisted upon it. I’m trying to be a good guy and be respectful.”

     “That’s a very good statement, Curtis C. Thank you, and let’s continue with the next member of our group.”

     “This is amazingly upsetting.”

     “What are you telling us?”

     “I have no business being here. I’m a wonderful person. I’ve never done anything wrong. I have a great career. And, if you haven’t noticed, I’m beautiful.”

     “I understand. Please tell us your name.”

     “Vana T.”

     “Dr. Thera P., can I clear this up?”

     “Clear what up? Just introduce yourself. You’re next in line.”

     “I’m Clara T. I see what nobody else does. I make the truth stand out so others can see the obstacles in their way. I catch the points others miss, for I am Clara T.”

     “Well, thank you, Clara T., for helping me to see my misstep. Let’s move forward so I can make it right.”

     “This is getting too damn serious. Let’s have some fun.”

     “But it’s not your turn, Miss.”

     “Put a smile on your face, Dr. Thera P. Enjoy life. That’s what it’s all about. My mission is to bring happiness and joy to the world.”

     “Well, young lady, let’s start by introducing yourself to the group.”

     “So be it! I’m Blissful E.”

     “Then I guess I’m next, Dr. Thera P.”

     “Fine, go ahead.”

     Buzz, Buzz, Buzz.

     “What are you doing?”

     “Just introducing myself. My name is Honey B. I’m the sweetest person you’ll ever know. But don’t get on my wrong side, cause my sting will shock you in a way you’ll never forget.”

     “Fascinating introduction, Honey B.”

     “Yes, it was, wasn’t it.” Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz . . .

     “Now, let’s move on.”

     “I’m next. I’m next, Dr. Thera P. I can make all this right.”

     “You can? What makes you say that?”

     “Because I’m Warren T. I will guarantee everything, at least for a period of time. I promise.”

     “And your commitment is for how long?”

     Quiet fell upon the room. Not a word uttered. The participants stared off into space. “That’s what I thought,” I stated with conviction.

     Then a sweet voice sung out, “I believe it’s my turn. Please follow my lead and our journey will take us to ‘Heaven’s Gate,’ and we will be blessed by the Lord, Himself, forever.”

     “How can you be so sure?”

     “Because it’s all in a name.”

     “I’m listening. I guess you’re inferring that the name you are talking about is yours.”

     “Why, yes. For I am Faithful E., and I do everything in a loyal manner—letter for letter.”

     “I didn’t believe anyone could leave me speechless. But you’ve come close.”

     “Well, thank you, thank you, thank you for appreciating my magnificent manner and style.”

     “Excuse me, I think I’m . . .”

     “Are you all right, Dr. Thera P.?” Faithful E. asked, looking a bit puzzled.

     “Uh, I’m fine. Just something caught in my throat. And now our last group member.”

     “Hello, everybody. I’m a winner beyond all winners. I’m the man. People are astounded by my accomplishments and impressed by my stamina, as I cross the finish line. For I am Victor ‘Y,’ pronounced ‘E!’”

     I regained my composure and leaned back in my chair. My audience of nine anxiously awaited my next remarks. But I said nothing. My mind drifted and my eyes drooped. My chin fell to my chest and I pictured large gray clouds drifting through the air.

     Not completely separated from reality, I heard the door to the room squeak open. With my eyes glazed over, I saw a figure, dressed in a black suit, shirt, and tie, come through the entrance and stand before the group.

     With lips dry and throat parched, my efforts to speak were uneventful. I thought, This can’t be happening. 

     The group’s eyes moved from me to the intruder. They looked at him as if he was their savior. The clouds I’d pictured were now fluffy white. And then he spoke . . .

     “The ‘psycho’ therapist, the crazy lady, can no longer invade your inner selves and pretend to have your best interests in mind. She wishes only to control your destiny. But I am the one who opens the doors to set you ‘free’ and allows your souls to grow. Remember me, your forever leader—Fredo M.”

     Then something strange happened. God reached out to me. His message, “The ‘Devil’ will never have the power to control my ‘Kingdom.’ So, stand up my child, and do what is right.”

     And I did. With a strong voice I didn’t know I had, I stated, “Indeed, that was a ‘fabulous’ introduction, Fredo M. But I’m sorry to say, ‘freedom’ is God’s gift to bestow upon us, not yours. I have been set free to do what is right. So take a seat behind us, keep your mouth shut, and listen, as we prepare for our second ‘Counseling Session 101.’”

     However, before he could, he was propelled into a now black clouded sky on his way back to the depths of Hell.

 

 

Copyright © 2025 Alan Lowe. All rights reserved.